Oh boy, I wish I did not promise to review this book. In fact, I am tempted to not even write about it, not because it is necessarily that bad, but because I dislike criticizing people who are on my side, or at least should be on my side. Unfortunately, there are a lot of things I could take issue with in this book, but I will refrain from most of it and focus on the main points. Also, to keep from being too critical as I go through each section in the book, I will try to mix in positive elements of the book with my criticisms. At the end, I will write a section on what I would have liked to see covered in a book like this. Just so that you know why I chose this book to review, I decided on it mostly because I hear it mentioned a lot among teens, especially Christian home schooled teens, and their parents. As I am a teen (for only a short time longer) and very close to the Harris twins’ age, I thought that it might be interesting to know exactly what youth my age and younger are reading and being influenced by.
So, without further ado, here is my review of “Do Hard Things.”
Main Review
The theme: First, I would like to say that the book has a good overall theme with some interesting sub themes. The main theme of “rebelling against low expectations” is certainly good for teens to hear and certainly something Christians especially need to be willing to do, however, I do not think it is necessary to always do them in some of the ways the book prescribes. Certainly, we are not called as Christians to live an easy life, as a matter of fact, we are called to stand up for the truth, proclaim the gospel, and live lives of righteousness and holiness (salt and light so to speak). This is not easy and requires a lot of effort on our part. The book addresses this and that is good. I am pleased that they do, but it is important to make a distinction between that and Pharisaicalism. In many ways, this book crosses the line and demands certain action in a way that is very Pharisaical. For instance, their five “hard things.” Let me list them and explain them.
Content: The book is broken up into three parts, “Rethinking the Teen Years” (p. 3-62), “Five Kinds of Hard” (p. 63-166), and “Join the Rebelution” (p. 167-224). As stated above, let me start by listing the “five kinds of hard” and explaining them.
“Five Kinds of Hard”
- How to do hard things that take you out of your comfort zone. The book explains this as “anything that takes you outside the rut of your normal day-to-day, week-to-week activities” (p. 57). Okay… well sometimes the best thing is to stick to one’s day-to-day, week-to-week activities. I think that one of the problems with this is not necessarily stretching oneself, which the book rightly says helps us grow, but thinking that one has to continually do this with everything, which the book incorrectly assumes. Let me give an example, they tell us a “comfort zone is a miserable place” (p. 70), then they continue with saying that if we do not leave our comfort zones, “by our actions, we’re also saying that God isn’t good and powerful enough to help us do what we can’t comfortably do on our own” (p. 71). They also say, (in another person’s words) “that shyness is a form of selfishness” (p. 72). Perhaps they are right and perhaps they are not. It depends on the situation. Again, the problem is the universality of many of their claims. I can think of a lot of people (even shy people) who work for Christ inside their comfort zones or their day-to-day activities in a righteous Godly manner. I will let them off the hook on this one and just say that yes, most of us do need to stretch our comfort zones at some point before we can fully live our calling for Christ. One last thing in this section though, they say that “You can’t get to success unless you risk failure” (p. 78). You want a bet? I do not find in the Bible where it explicitly tells us to continually risk things to achieve success. Sometimes God tells us to rely on him and to risk all, but not in every case and there is something else called prudence. If one is smart, you will find a way to risk minimal failure. It is just smart living. If I am correct, I seem to remember a whole book in the Bible on smart living (Proverbs). Maybe I am overbearing on this, but reading one story after another with the comments made in the book makes one think that they are demanding certain actions and do not account for the exceptions, which are plentiful.
- How to do hard things that go beyond what’s expected or required. Again, there are certain elements in this that are true and good, like doing well and seeking excellence. They talk about doing better in school, work, home life, etc, etc. Fine, but the problem comes in when they, for instance, with a story of a girl in college who can get good grades and keep her job, say that there is a cost of complacency (p. 87). What? This is not good enough? Hold on. They say that being labeled above average “reduces the chances that you’ll ever live up to your actual potential.” They continue, “Before long you’ll become blinded by complacency, which is defined as a smug feeling of satisfaction with who you are and what you’ve done… we’re learning that smug satisfaction leads to genuine disappointment before long” (p.90). Whoa, wait a minute. This should be the case only if you are leading an obviously contrary life to Christ, but all the time? My pastor once spoke on the subject of contentedness. He said that in many instances, to not be content is the same as sin. We are called to be content with who we are in Christ and with what he has given us. It is to slight what Christ has done for us to think that we are never “good enough” so to speak. We rely on who Christ is as Christians, not on who we are in and of ourselves. Okay, but maybe they will explain. They continue by saying that to fight complacency we should “1. Do what’s hard for you, 2. Be known for what you do (more than for what you don’t), and 3. Pursue excellence, not excuses” (p. 92-93). Alright, some of that is good and right, but these things are not always what we should focus on. Again, you should not continue to find discontent with what you do and are, unless you are finding that you are not following Christ and need to change. With some things, it is good to stretch ourselves, but like I said before, there are a myriad of exceptions that are just plainly overlooked in this book. Okay, I am almost done with this section, but I have to mention this one last thing just because it bothered me so much considering the twins’ brother’s work (Josh Harris). They tell a story of a girl who is known as a “good girl” because she does not participate in many of the sinful things other teens her age are doing. She maintains that she will not watch R-rated films, she wears a promise ring, and cares more about what adults in her life think of her than what her peers think. But, the impression in the book is that this is not good enough because she is known for what she “doesn’t do” rather than what she does do (p. 96-97). I am sorry, but this makes me so upset, I am not going to talk too much about it. If you cannot see the problem with what they are saying in this then there is no way I could explain it to you. Get a clue, some things are “good enough.” These things are not the problem and do not criticize them as though they were.
- How to do hard things that are too big for you to do alone. This section is alright. They tell probably my favorite story in the book about a girl whose big dream is to pursue modesty in fashion for Christian teen girls. They explain how they helped her accomplish some of this by getting a team together to set up an online survey for Christian guys (as to what they liked in girl fashion) and then organize the results into a format for Christian teen girls on Valentine’s Day. Basically, they talk about how greater success can come when many people work together and some things, which are impossible for one person to do, can get done.
- How to do hard things that don’t pay off immediately. This chapter is also not necessarily so bad, but there is an underlying message in it that is problematic. I had hopes for this chapter since the subject was the minor things in life that do not seem to matter, but unfortunately, they never delved into the eternal purpose of such things as they could have. They talked about being prepared for the future so that we can do great things, but never realized (or at least never stated) that for some people, God has called them (and they can be content with it) to a life of simple things. It is assumed that everyone will do something “great” and “big.” I am reminded of a talk by a black pastor named Voddie Baucham (very good if you ever get a chance to hear him speak) on putting one’s house in order. He mentioned that his daughter would not go to college because it was not her role to be out in the world in that way and do these so called “big hard things.” He said that her dream in life was to be a stay at home mom and raise 8, 9, 10, 12 children. This is where she wants her life to be and to stay. I think that is great and in so many ways she could be fulfilling God’s calling on her life. This chapter completely ignores that sort of thing or perhaps thinks that this sort of life is not all someone can be called to. I do not know, but either way, it is absent from the book, which to me is greatly disappointing because it is so important.
- How to do hard things that go against the crowd. This last chapter on the five “hard things” basically explains that we are called to take a stand for what is right. Great! They also inform us that there are some things worth standing for and others not worth standing for. They provide some good principles to help us, “1. Start with the Bible. 2. Examine yourself. 3. Listen to your conscience. 4. Seek Godly council. 5. Be humble, loving, and bold. 6.Be part of the solution” (p. 157). Obviously they go into more detail, but you can get an idea from this list. The one part I do want to take up though is concerning the fifth point on that list. Humility, love, and boldness are all good things that we should practice as Christians, but, and this is something I often have trouble with when many people use the term, they do not define love. They say, “our standing should always be done with loving humility” (p. 160). Um… that’s nice, but it is not as cut and dry as they seem to think. What do they mean by love? Many people have their own definition of love and even the Bible uses the word love in many different ways. What way do they mean by it? Look what else they say, and this is where I have my problem. They say “We must hate the sin, not the sinner” (p. 160). Okay, maybe they do not realize this, but that is not in the Bible and is never taught in the Bible. As a matter of fact, Gandhi was the man who coined the phrase “love the sinner, hate the sin.” The man who looked for an excuse for his own sinful state. No, in the Bible we read Christian prayers like “And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the word of God, and for the testimony which they held: And they cried with a loud voice, saying, How long, O Lord, holy and true, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the earth?” (Rev 6:9-10) and “Pour out thy wrath upon the heathen that have not known thee, and upon the kingdoms that have not called upon thy name. For they have devoured Jacob, and laid waste his dwelling place.” (Psalms 79:6-7). Tell me, are these prayers loving toward unbelievers and persecutors of the church? I do not think so. The Bible is full of like passages. I understand that we are called to love our enemy, but please take this in context with Scripture. There is a time and place for graciousness and love and there is a time and place for the opposite, even though predominately we find that the former normally takes precedent. I am not advocating we all go around hating people, but this love thing is taken way out of context and often time used to abuse rather than to edify. Otherwise, this chapter was okay and pretty good.
Things that should have been (in my opinion)
More appropriate, complete, and doctrinal use of Scripture: First, and as a King James person, I have to say this, the Harris’ use the NIV, which seems contradictory to their theme of setting higher standards. Should they not be calling teens to a higher reading of Scripture too since they are calling us to higher everything else? Anyway, back on track, some Scripture passages used to prove a point or present an idea are used out of context and even false claims are made from them. To try to keep this review from growing too large, I will only give one example (probably the most prominent), but bear in mind that many passages are used in the same strange manner as to kind of warp it for the particular point being made (likewise, not all the passages used are this way, but some are and it is worth noting):
- 1 Corinthians 13:11 (p.42)-”When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I was a man, I gave up childish ways.” (NIV) “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” (KJV) The point made by this passage in the book is that teens, adolescence, or a “period of time between childhood and adulthood” (p. 42) is not mentioned in the Bible. To quote the book, “God does not hold two standards: one for young adults and one for adults” (p. 42). That is nice, but they are wrong. There is a different standard for young adults opposed to older more experienced adults.
Proverbs 20:29 says “The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the gray head” (KJV).
Isaiah 40:29-31 says “He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (KJV).
Titus 2:1-7 says “But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity” (KJV).
1 John 2:13-14 says “I write unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye have overcome the wicked one. I write unto you, little children, because ye have known the Father. I have written unto you, fathers, because ye have known him that is from the beginning. I have written unto you, young men, because ye are strong, and the word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the wicked one” (KJV).
Emphasis was added. Now, to be fair, I do not think that the mistake was purposeful in the book, but it is important to note. It is true that there is no “adolescence” so to speak, but there is a very important distinction between young and old adults. It is too bad, but I think there is a lot of material in these passages for the Harris’ to use in their book that they overlooked. The problem comes in that the Harris’ do not really give a good distinction between the proper role of the teen years opposed to that of adults.
More emphasis on mentorship and submission to adults: The Bible says “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” (Eph 6:1-3). The Harris’ do not discount this in their book, but in many ways they do not address the fact that teens are still “children” in this case and under the authority of their parents. They cannot go doing whatever “big hard thing” they please, even if it is a worthy cause. For teens there is an opportunity to strive for greater things, especially learning, and learning from experienced adults, not just other youth necessarily. For me, and I will mention this again in my conclusion, my learning comes from pastors, great theologians, and great thinkers (whatever field they may be in) both past and present. Their expertise is what I admire (important to differentiate from their credentials which is not the same). These people are adults in the truest sense. These are the people youth today should be looking to learn most from, but unfortunately, much of the church discounts the people of the past and even other great men of today. Because of this, youth are not encouraged to learn from them. For me, I was highly disappointed that the Harris’ had such an opportunity to encourage youth in this way, but they did not.
Conclusion
Some parting thoughts: In conclusion, I do not mean to nit pick in my criticisms of this book. There were so many opportunities that were missed and many things said that show a lack of experience on the part of the Harris twins. The book was not that bad, and in many ways just fine. I hope that Alex and Brett will grow through their experience in writing this book and that someday, they will be able to write something more significant and of great substance and edification to us. It is obvious that the book was written as something to hawk at the conferences the twins hold and something to put on their resume. The substance of the book is not great or complex and the book could easily be classified as Christian Kitsch. Their real work is what they did through the website forums and their conferences, networking teens and providing lots of encouragement. That is the greater work.
One last disappointment: I have difficulty that they are said by many (including by their own jacket cover) to be “leading the charge” for teens today. As they openly admit, this change among youth started long before they came around and for myself, I am a little offended that they want to take credit and piggyback off of my labor and others’ labor for Christ to propel themselves into more fame. I do not think that they realize this or intended this (as a matter of fact they would probably be horrified themselves to think that they are doing this) when they wrote their book, but the fact of the matter is that they did this through their book, perhaps and probably unwittingly. I am not a “rebelutionary” even though I have higher standards for myself than the culture sets and many Christians set. I do not have a problem with doing great things for Christ (called in the book “hard things” or “big/little hard things”). As a matter of fact, anyone who knows me well knows that I have done a lot of such things, but I am no “rebelutionary” and I will not call these things I do by the catchphrases used in the book because by no means am I a product of their work, but only and solely the product of Christ’s work in my life. I do not mean to appear defensive in this way, but I do have this particular problem with this book’s presentation of the Harris’ work. Maybe others do not have a problem with this and if that is you, forgive my little rant on this subject, but I will stick by it and continue to give credit to Christ.
Conclusion: Going back to the main theme of the book, I would like to direct you to two people. Ravi Zacharias and his message “Lessons from Royalty” and Pastor Voddie Baucham (especially his messages “Children of Caesar” and “Putting your house in order”). Ravi Zacharias talked in his message “Lessons from Royalty” about king Solomon, how he had more wisdom and wealth than any king on earth, knowing clearly right from wrong, and yet, he fell into a life of debauchery. The question is posed, how is it that a man who could have everything, even more wisdom than anyone throughout history save Jesus Christ, could fall so far from God’s commandments and God’s pleasure? Let me say this, trying to do our best at what we do is not enough. Voddie Baucham once said of homeschoolers that they had on average 5.2 outside activities, more than making up for their “lack of socializing” in public school. He then followed up by saying to the affect of “if this is you, then you need to cut back.” Why would he say this? Why is trying to do our best not enough? Why is going far beyond, doing everything, and pushing ourselves to our limit not necessarily the best thing? Well, here is why, Ravi Zacharias continued in his message and said that Solomon of all the kings in Israel, including the evil kings, did not have a prophet like Nathan to shake his finger and say “Thou art the man” (2 Samuel 12). The problem with the message in this book is that the Harris’ left little room for the real working of the Holy Ghost in our lives. Often, and as young people it is easy to do so, we get caught up in all the “good” things we could do and accomplish with and for ourselves and others, forever stretching and reaching to something higher and better, but the question that is always lacking is, “Of what ultimate, eternal, significance does this have?” Even in things that are of importance to our normal life and success we are not called to necessarily stretch ourselves to our limit. We are called to always try to be like Christ. Let that be our goal and let us submit ourselves as young people to not only the study of holy Scripture (the most important thing), but also reading and studying great Christians of the past and present. Let our knowledge and wisdom gathered from these people now help us later in life when we can fully do some of these greater “hard things” that are mentioned in this book. If you have the ability to do some of these things now, then by all means go ahead, but do not feel discouraged when you feel that you do not have adequate knowledge or understanding to do them. Continue to grow in Christ and when the time is right (God’s timing) you will be allowed to do these things.